Part 1 - Interview with Michelle X about the Freedom of the Mind & Letting Go of Limiting Patterns

Video transcript and contact info below👇👇
Happy reading!

Violaine: Good evening, everyone. We are back on with Michelle X for a new interview about understanding of the mind. We did our first interview back in July and thought it would be really interesting and beneficial for a lot of us out there to do a follow-up on what we previously touched on.

Michelle, if you allow me to introduce your background:

You are a Level 3 Personal Trainer, Sports Massage Therapist, Nutrition Consultant, and Sports Injury and Rehabilitation Specialist.

You have over 20 years of experience in empowering individuals to achieve optimal fitness, health, and performance, as well as to overcome stress and recover from injuries and illnesses.

Your expertise includes human physiology, exercise physiology, biomechanics, holistic nutrition, and mind-body well-being.

Anything you would like to add?

Michelle: Well, what another fantastic introduction you give me there. I’m just really happy to be back. This is one of the subjects that I feel so deeply about, and I have much gratitude for the awareness that has come through observation over the time that I’ve been practicing this.

I feel like this is one of the areas that is kind of hidden within the physical aspect that we spoke of last time. In our last chat, it was very much the physical aspect of change, like the diet and the exercise, and that’s very tangible to many beings. You can see it, you can experience it physically, you can taste it. There’s a lot of things that are physically associated with that part of the holistic package that we’re trying to achieve here.

And this, tackling the mind, is a very hidden aspect of holistic health or well-being. So, this is really interesting because when we talk of experiences, it all happens within the environment of our own internal being. So we have to then try and unpack these things without a tangible being in front of us, so it’s mainly hidden and in the silence of our own internal environment.

So what I want to ask today of anyone is that if you do take any notes or any journals, really try and relate things and tools that we give today, or we offer, to some of your own experiences. So when we speak of certain areas and we bring up certain questions, try and relate that back to how you kind of experience your journey and your everyday things that you may struggle with or the triggers that come up for you because that then makes it unique to your experience, and then it’s very much an easier concept to grasp.

Because a lot of beings, you know, you look at others and you see their experience, and you think, “Oh, it’s more like a belief rather than a knowing.” So when we can relate it to our own experiences, this is when we can truly know if it’s right for us or not.

And I just want to mention before I start that this is just me sharing my experience, and it is by no means medical. I’m not a medical professional, and this is not medical advice. This is just purely based on my experiences and what I have to offer in regards to my journey and what I’ve experienced along the way. So if you do make any changes or want any extra help, I do kind of say to look into any medical professional help if you need that.

There are a lot of intricate things that happen in the mind, and I know that, you know, medical professionals can offer that advice if you need it. And also, I am here for help and advice, but what I would say is if you’re suffering with any mental health issues, that it is important to seek the help that you need and that works for your journey. Because, you know, many beings are scared to open up about this subject, so whatever works for you and is best for you, then you need to experience that on your journey.

Violaine: Well, thank you very much for all this precious advice, and I’m very glad to have you back. That’s great advice for somebody because I remember last time we did talk a lot about food and what is the most nutritious for our body, the most optimal food that we can have. But we also, or you really pointed out, that it’s a very individual journey. So it’s really good advice to somebody listening to just take some notes as they hear things that they relate to.

Last time, we touched on maintaining a state of alignment and balance, as well as our thoughts and how they play a significant part in our health and well-being, and this is what we’re going to expand on today.

Chatting with you before this interview, you had said that macronutrients are a good entry point in this subject. Can you, from the start, explain what is the role of macronutrients and their relationship to our topic today?

Michelle: Yeah, for sure. So a lot of these questions will be interlinked with each other because it all ultimately is down to the balance of the being and the body and all of the systems that are kind of encased within that holistic practice.

So when we look at macronutrients, or “macros” as this word is quite heavily used in the fitness industry—check your macros and watch your macros—so what we’re talking about is kind of the larger amounts of nutrients in our diet, which are the proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. Now, having a balanced diet is optimum for health in the body, and what we don’t want is to suffer from deficiencies. So if, for instance, we remove one part of that in the aspect of food and nutrition, then ultimately we end up needing to replace that with something that’s usually a supplement of some kind.

And like we spoke of before, it was mainly to do with how that’s processed within the body, and are we getting the optimal amount of nutrition that our body needs to thrive? A lot of the diets we spoke of last time were removing certain things out of our diet, and that’s why blood work is super important for that. Because when we’ve got the balance there in that area, that’s when we can thrive physically, and that kind of sets up the level so that we can then work on our mental and emotional state. So this is kind of the base level, the entry level really, to set up our holistic practice so that it enables the metabolic rate also to kind of come to a balance.

Then we look at kind of anabolic and catabolic parts of our system, which is building up and breaking down. Optimum health is that balance again, and that’s what we’re looking for—bringing that system into balance. So, you know, what does our body thrive off of mainly? Carbohydrates, like the sugar, the simple carbohydrates, is how our body is fueled. If we then go and take that out of the diet, the body then has to work in a different way to gain energy. So what the body wants or what it’s looking for is that balance the whole time. If we weren’t designed to have that system in the body, it just wouldn’t be there. Our bodies are designed perfectly; it’s only when we take them out of that perfect bubble that we suffer.

So it’s the same with the mind. If we take it off its center, its balance, and we start going into “What if?” “Is this right?” “Is this wrong?” this is when we suffer in thought. It’s not in the moment of what we’re actually doing, which we’ll touch on later. It’s the thoughts around that, and this is the same practice that we have within every system.

If we take something out or start adding too much in, or worry about this and that, it takes us off that natural balance and path. This is why we’re looking at a holistic package today; we’re going to come into some of the ways in which we can practice balance and give those tools that are needed. So again, if we can have some notes or a journal throughout the day that we might use to notice triggers that happen, then that’s when we can kind of see where our balance is coming off and where we can maybe put that back into alignment with small practices. And it’s actually the same as what happened when we spoke about the food and the exercise last time. This is where we can really look at things that follow the same patterns.

Violaine: So, on that topic, last time you mentioned three key points. The food, the exercise, and the mind—are those three elements that create all our balance? Are they equally important, would you say?

Michelle: Well, when we talk about the food and the exercise, that’s mainly a physical aspect, so that would be classified as the body. Then we have the mind. So, you know, when you hear “the trinity,” “the Holy Trinity,” “the body, mind, and self,” or “body, mind, and spirit” or “soul”—many beings call it many different things, but ultimately, it's the triangle, the sacred triangle, or the trinity. Whatever you decide to call it, it's just a label; it's the body, mind, and self, as I call it. But you may have different words to explain each one.

There’s a physical aspect, which we touched on quite a lot last time—what we fuel our body with and how we practice physical exercise to make our bodies feel better, to release these endorphins. And then today, we're looking into the mind, which is the hidden aspect of health and well-being because this is where a lot of suffering happens.

And then when we look at what all of those are heavily linked to, it's the self, the being, the ultimate observer of all of this that's happening. So we’re playing out the play, and the observer of it all is the self, the Oneness, or the "isness"—creation, the magic, you know?

All of it is connected, and we're here for experience. We experience through the physical and the mental states, but we are ultimately perfection and divine. No matter what you call it or label it, it is all the same across every religion. It's just usually a different name or thought of belief, which we'll go into later on, and I want to do a little bit of wordplay with that. But yeah, it's very, very interesting. So, those are the three—the Holy Trinity, the three things—that if they are in balance, then we have no pain, suffering, disease, or discomfort.

Violaine: Yeah, I was asking you that just because, as I hear things here and there, some people do say that if the mind is set right, then everything else falls into place. But, correct me if I'm wrong, I think your approach is that first we need to have—what you call "our vessel"—our body clean and in balance itself physically to be able to, not receive, but to be able to align then with more of the mind. Is there a little difference here, or is it just people approaching it differently, would you say?

Michelle: Yeah, I’d say for sure. Again, it’s an individual experience. What we have come across with our teachings, mainly, is that because the physical is so tangible, like we spoke of before, you can see it, right? You can feel it; you can feel the difference. It’s an actual, very physical aspect, and beings just love that. You see your body changing; you feel more energetic, you look more vibrant. Your friends start saying, “Oh, you look good; what have you been doing?” All of these things are very tangible.

The mind, when we talk about the mind, is something that no one else can see or hear. It's such an individual thing to you. So, usually, what happens—not always, but mostly—beings want to lose a bit of weight, tone up, build some muscle, or get fitter or stronger. There are many things that are desirable about the physical aspect of our being. So, I’m not saying this is the case every time, but the majority of beings will see that as a base level—that “I want to be healthier; I want to be fitter; I’d like to feel this way,” and this is just part of evolution.

So when we take that into consideration, once we clear the vessel and we have more clarity of the mind—because it’s like when you eat heavily processed foods, you get brain fog, and you can’t see or think clearly—once all of that lifts, it enables a shift to happen within our being. We start to see that there are some things going on in the mind that we’re ready to tackle now because we’re not feeling discomfort or disease anymore. We feel a lot healthier; we don’t have pains and aches everywhere. So it’s kind of an evolutionary part of your journey, really, that follows on from that.

Violaine: Yeah, it makes sense to me. Plus, I suppose it also gives a sense of empowerment because, as you start to eat better, you learn along the way and realize that maybe what you were doing wasn't really the best, and that feeling of empowerment might be helpful as well as the tangible feeling.

Michelle: Yeah, for sure. The feeling that you gain from the eating is like freedom of the physical aspects, for sure.

Violaine: Oh, so cold! (laughs) I’m glad you got to get a jacket in the meantime!

Alright, so everything makes sense. So we were saying, entering with re-looking at the food and then having more mental clarity enables us to kind of move deeper into, I guess, the overall freedom.

Last time, when we talked, you mentioned that freedom of the mind is where your specialty lies. So, to start from the beginning, and I know you say it’s a bit of a secret—it’s not really spoken—what is the mind, if you can explain it in simple words, as well as what is freeing the mind in simple words to just start?

Michelle: Okay, so what we are looking at ultimately here is moving beyond the duality of likes and dislikes. It’s more like labeling things as they arise, like, “That’s right; that’s wrong,” and recognizing that every moment is a teacher. Sometimes I come to this quote that I often remember when I observe things like this, which is from Bruce Lee, one of the famous martial artists, who used to say, “Be like water, my friend.”

Now, water stays the same, but you pour it into any cup or glass or bowl, and it goes into the shape of that container. It’s still the exact same thing as when you poured it in, but it molds to the shape, so it’s able to shift and flow.

We're moving from reactivity to responding to life and seeing the perfection in what truly is. So, ultimately, we're transcending our personal preferences—“Oh, I like this; I don’t like this”—and finding the growth in everything that happens and unfolds.

So, you, being the observer, would notice judgments and not identify with them. Then, watching a preference like, “I prefer this; I don’t really like this,” will arise, and when you don’t identify with that, it passes. What we ultimately need to remember is that we’re remaining centered in a changing environment. So our environment might change, but we always remain the same, and we can adapt to anything without the preference of “I don’t really like this.” We see the divine orchestra in all experiences as they unfold, and then, as we practice this, it creates that natural balance that we are and that our bodies are always working towards—this natural balance.

And as the resistance decreases, our peace increases, and then there’s less energy spent fighting the “what is”—the “isness” of the situation.

Violaine: Would you say... Yes, I have to mention, I would say you’re breaking up a little bit at times, so I hope we grab most of it. I’m not sure if I grasped the “what is the mind”...

Michelle: Okay, so the mind or the thoughts are ever-changing. So, our being, our self, we have the body—the trinity—the body, mind, and self. We are always unchanging, the same. Our observations come from that aspect of the self. The mind will throw up past programs. So if you had something that happened when you were younger, as soon as a trigger comes, you remember this aspect of your childhood. Automatically, you have a vision or a feeling or a certain smell that you remember. All of these things get thrown up with that past memory of what happened.

The fact is, if we run with that, if we take that and build upon it, we suffer in that thought of, “Well, this used to cause me so much pain; I didn’t like it,” and the labels come in. This is when we are in suffering because we’re making a story and creating an energy pathway of teachings to help us grow in this situation. So if we’re in suffering in the mind through past trauma—a trigger comes and we remember; we identify with that thought—we suffer in thought, not in the present moment.

Because we're identifying with something that's not actually happening—it’s a memory, a program, something that has caused us trauma and suffering—the way and the tools to help us move past that involve observing that this is happening. The thought has come; we don’t want to try and run away from it, and we don’t want to stand and fight it because that triggers fight or flight, creating instability within our being.

We observe it. We step back from it. We don’t take it and run with it, creating a whole new scenario in our minds. Instead, we accept that this is part of what happens in the mind, and we don’t attach to it. So we’re not creating anything new; we’re just bringing our attention back. It’s all about attention. Like you said before, wherever your attention is, the energy flows.

If we bring our attention to the present moment, the mind may still be going off, saying all kinds of things that aren’t actually happening. But here we are, sitting here with our breath. Many beings have different ways to ground themselves: you can notice your breath, or even look at something simple, like the pen on the table. Focus on it. Let your attention move away from what’s happening in the mind. Look at the color, feel the texture. Whenever we’re not paying attention to the mind’s pull to create suffering, none of that is relevant anymore.

As we discussed with children, it’s very easy to work with them because they live in the moment. A child may start crying if they’re hurt, but if you draw their attention back to something else, like a beautiful butterfly, suddenly they’re curious again. “Oh, where?” they say, and just like that, the tears stop. If you ask them later why they were upset, they can barely remember. They aren’t trapped in thought; they’re fully present.

As they grow older and experience more conditioning, it becomes harder. But if we can live in that space of observation and presence, that’s where freedom lies.

Violaine: I think you unpacked a lot just there! I didn’t want to interrupt, but it’s part of the question on conditioning and past experiences. You brought up the example of children. When we’re young, we’re not really in control of what we’re doing or the behavioral lessons we’re learning—those are being taught to us by our parents or guardians. So, the conditioning from those past, repeated experiences is what brings us into repetitive cycles or triggers as adults.

And you said that to break free, we need to realize they’re just thoughts in our head and bring our focus back to our breath or an object in front of us. For example, if someone loves flowers, they might look at flowers if they’re upset, and that helps shift their mood. It’s the same idea, right? That was something I wanted to clarify.

In practical ways, how can someone start recognizing and breaking free from these conditioned patterns? I’m repeating myself a little, but it seems to be about recognizing when we’re feeling annoyed, angry, or cranky, and just recentralizing and letting that feeling dissipate. Would that be the simplest way?

Michelle: It’s all about attention. Wherever we place our attention, that’s where energy will be created. For example, the ego mind likes to control. When we’re growing up, especially as children, we don’t have much control over what’s happening around us. A lot of it comes from social conditioning—from our guardians or whoever is looking after and caring for us. We get conditioned in certain ways, and while much of that conditioning is meant to protect us, it doesn’t always serve us throughout our lives.

Take fears, for example. Many fears are instilled from a place of love, as caregivers don’t want us to get hurt. But over time, this can limit our experiences. So we have to be mindful about why we judge certain situations. We want to keep ourselves and others safe, but at the same time, we also want to live authentically and fully experience life. Life isn’t just about being born and then dying; it’s about experiencing the journey in between.

It’s not as simple as “right” or “wrong.” True balance lies in the middle, in experiential development and growth. That’s why we’re here. Life is multi-layered, and we constantly go through sensations and experiences.

Let’s take put it as an actual scenario: Like sound for instance, a lot of beings struggle with certain sounds because of conditioning. The natual natural sound from slightly changed from 432 hz to 440 hz. Initially, beings may have a mental reaction, thinking, "I don't want to be here" or “I don’t like this sound.” 

I’ve had a thought—“I don’t want to be here because this music isn’t nice for me to be around.” That’s the mental aspect, the judgment. Then an emotional attachment comes in, saying, “Oh, I can’t be around this! Get me away from this; I don’t like it; it’s not for me.”

All this time, the space of centeredness, the awareness, the balance, is still there—it was right here the whole time. So, while we’re here, our mind is making a judgment, but our inner being remains unchanged. The inner being is simply present, while there’s just some music playing. Yet the mind says, “This is not good; I don’t like this; it’s wrong; it’s not right for me.” Suffering arises from this judgment, and emotional tension builds. I might say, “I don’t want to be here,” but in the actual moment, there’s an opportunity to grow and move beyond those old patterns that seem to play out on repeat, like in Groundhog Day. This pattern of suffering happens every time because it’s a mental habit.

When the mind starts creating a story that leads to judgment and resistance, that’s when suffering occurs. But we can take a step back from that and look at how we might change our reality into one of gratitude. What would happen if I couldn’t hear at all? Wouldn’t I wish for the ability to hear—even if it meant hearing this music? I’d be grateful simply for the fact that I can hear.

Maybe the music isn’t to my mind’s preference, but everyone has preferences. The key is to recognize that your perception of anything can either be your power or your prison.

So, we can either decide to carry on with the suffering and keep up the mind games—thinking, “Oh, I really don’t like this”—or we can use it as a power and say, “I’m so grateful that I can actually hear this music.” We can feel truly grateful just for the presence and the ability to experience it.

But many beings fall into the trap of suffering. The trigger that causes this suffering can actually be a doorway to our freedom. We shouldn’t try to escape it, because if we do, we end up burying it even deeper. When we can find balance within that environment, that’s when we’re truly free. Freedom doesn’t come from running away or fighting until the very end.

Violaine: What you’re saying makes me think about so many things, because I feel like the mind can be incredibly powerful in individuals. Sometimes, people become so comfortable with suffering because it’s familiar.

There are people who may not even recognize they’re suffering—they’ve been that way for so long that it just feels like part of their personality. It’s almost like their identity: people recognize them as “that person,” the one who always acts a certain way, and they accept it as just who they are. In some cases, there’s even a sense of misplaced pride in it.

I’m not sure how to phrase this as a question. If someone wants to free their mind, they obviously need to be willing to work on themselves. But I know people, even among my own friends, who are stuck in this loop.

Sometimes I find myself in it, too. Even when I try to work on these aspects, I catch myself feeling frustrated, and I realize it’s not the situation itself that’s causing my frustration. It’s my perception of the situation and how I’m reacting to it.

And then I try to recenter myself, and I see it dissipates. But those first two minutes are—oh, like really, do I need to sit here right now? And then I do it anyway, and it passes. But then, as I talk to other friends or family members, I see these very locked behaviors.

How do you approach a person who is so identified with "the way they are" that if they were to change even a tiny bit, people might not recognize them—or they might not even recognize themselves? Those traits or qualities, if we can call them that, are what make them who they are.

I’m sorry, go ahead. I’m just trying to paint the picture.

Michelle: No, absolutely—you’re spot on with what you’re describing. I even wrote down some words as you were speaking because all the words you described are aspects of the person, the personality, the ego, rather than the self.

When we talk about identity—our “ID”—it’s our name, our role, how we act, as well as what you mentioned: how we dress, how we eat, our profession. Changing any of that can feel scary because it’s all we’ve known for so long. It’s who we believe we are. Many people avoid changes, like dietary changes, because “This is how I’ve always eaten with my family,” and they worry about others’ expectations. We’ll talk more about expectations in a bit, but the bottom line is that they feel, “This is who I am; I don’t want to lose my identity because it’s all I’ve got.”

But is it? But is it? This is simply the persona you’ve constructed in your mind. The mind knows this identity well; it can predict what you’ll look like, what you’ll wear, even how you’ll smell. You’re very predictable to yourself.

However, when we start doing things out of the ordinary, that’s where growth happens. I often say, “Play the opposite game with the ego.” This allows us to break free from the set programming—the hamster wheel of repeating the same things, day in and day out, without growth. We’re just existing in a comfort zone.

When you mentioned reacting, remember that it’s just an act. We are acting out a persona or personality we’ve developed over time that keeps us in our comfort zone. This persona dictates what we eat, which friends we socialize with, and creates a controlled box of happiness where there’s no real uncertainty.

Now, when you see others and feel you could possibly help them in some way, it all comes down to their divine will. Everyone has the will to do something—or not. And no matter how much you might want to help them, if they’re not willing to change, it won’t happen. If you try to push them, they’ll likely push back, creating a standstill where there’s no progress.

Some people might live their entire life in a “suffering bubble,” but does that affect you? Not unless you let it. The only effect it has on you is your own desire for them to change, because you perceive that you know something better for them. But that may not be part of their journey. Their journey is theirs; yours is yours.

If someone comes to you asking for advice based on your experience, then, of course, you can share. That’s exactly what I’m doing here today. That’s why I started today’s podcast by saying, “I am here solely to share my experience with you—not to force you into doing what I’m doing.” This is how my journey is unfolding, and if you’d like to take some pointers or tools I use and apply them to your experience, that’s great. But if none of it resonates, then you have to do what’s best for you. That is your divine right of will as a being.

Violaine: Right, I understand. It just sometimes feels like such a dilemma.

Michelle: When we see it as a dilemma, the only dilemma, or issue that we have, is within ourselves. If you know you can help someone and they don’t want help, then trying will only bring suffering to you.

Violaine: Yes, for sure. But if I know I want help...But I’m not 100% sure it’s the help I need. I think it will come up in one of my final questions—I have a personal question to ask you, but I’ll save that for the end. Maybe we can look back on it then. For now, let’s just go with what you’ve been saying.

Michelle: Let’s go with what you just said. So, you’re not 100% sure. The only way we truly know something is by experiencing it. I could sit here all day, telling you, “This is this,” “That’s that,” “This is how you do it,” or “That’s how you don’t do it.” But you’ll never truly know unless you experience it for yourself, not through my experience.

If you’re interested in something but aren’t 100% certain, the only way you’re going to truly know if it’s right for you is to try it yourself.

For example, if it were food, and you asked me, “Do you think this food will help me?” I’d tell you, “Through my experience, I’ve healed all my ailments with it.” But you’d still need to go through that journey yourself—to walk that path—to truly know if it’s going to be healing for you.

Michelle: With experience, we can either rely on belief in others or build on our own knowing.

Let’s focus on those two words for a second, because we’re going to do a bit of wordplay and see where it takes us.

When we believe someone—say, I see someone on the internet and I believe in their message or story—it’s still their truth, not mine. Until you know it yourself, it can’t be your truth. So if I believe something without experiencing it, that belief is always going to be a lie until I know it. And the only way I’m going to truly know is by doing it now — not just in the mind, not in some imagined future or past.

There’s a reason we call the present “the present”—it’s our gift, it's our experience. The only way we’re going to reach true knowing is by walking our own truth, and that’s embedded in every word we use. The answer is in the word.

For example, if I form a belief based on what someone says—even my parents, who might warn, “Don’t touch that; it’s going to bite”—my logical mind understands not to do it. But if I only ever believe without experiencing, I’ll never learn fully. Most of us have touched something hot and learned, “Oh, that burns!” Now we know not to do it because we’ve felt the outcome. Without that experience, our curiosity and desire to learn would always linger.

So, we should take advice from others, but ultimately, we have to follow our own path and our divine will. For others who feel comfortable in a loop of suffering and are content with it—who am I to say they shouldn’t do that, there's a better way, when they’re happy?

Violaine: Yeah, for sure. I think it’s really clear how you explained it—it’s the person’s will to act, and it’s about knowing from their own experience.

I had a question about expectations and desired outcomes. It’s pretty typical to start a new journey, feeling excited about a specific outcome we hope to achieve. Whether it’s freedom of the mind or something simpler, like thinking, “If I go to the gym twice a week, I’ll get in perfect shape,” those expectations create desired outcomes that we plan or list out.

I wanted to talk to you about this because I think it’s where a lot of people struggle—in relationships with others, professional life, or personal growth. How can you, or how would you, release or detach from the expected outcome?

Because to me, if you stay attached to a specific outcome, you’re most likely not going to get there. It’s only when you detach from it that it seems to come to you in an unexpected way. Am I making sense? Can you wrap this up?

Michelle: Yes, absolutely. When we have an expectation, it often brings judgments along with it. We judge a situation or create a specific outcome in our minds. But life tends to unfold in its own, unexpected ways.

One practical way to manage this is to become aware of any physical attachment to a particular outcome. For instance, you might set a goal, and once you reach it, some people experience a huge crash because they placed all their expectations on that one event—like a wedding, a sports competition, or even a holiday like Christmas. We’ve even seen this with celebrities who, after achieving a major goal, experience a letdown because they didn’t truly engage in the journey; they were just on autopilot response.

Like you get somewhere, and you just don't know how you got there. the mind was off somewhere esle and you were on autopilot and the self was just making the same path as it always does.

If you pin all your hope and joy on that one moment, it may feel joyous at the time, but once it’s over, you can feel deflated, wondering, “What’s next?”. This happens because we’re taken out of the present moment and left wishing every moment was as joyous as the last high we experienced. So, to shift from this, we need to recognize our expectations as they arise and avoid getting caught up in them mentally. Instead, we focus on appreciating the beauty of the journey itself.

The ego craves control, expecting, planning, and knowing, but often the best gifts come as surprises. So, when you catch yourself creating expectations, observe what’s happening in the mind. Shift your focus, because whatever we give our attention to is where our energy flows.

For example, if you expect someone to arrive at a specific time and they’re late, can you change that? No, they’re late. In that moment, you have two choices: you can suffer, thinking, “I hate it when people are late; they shouldn’t be late,” and create a whole scenario in your mind, or you can drop that attachment and accept that they’re late for a reason—a divine reason. Remind yourself that everything is going to be okay.

There’s a powerful question to ask in these moments: “Do I know that life is absolutely perfect for me at every given moment?” It’s a yes or no question. Do you know that everything happening to you has a divine, perfect reason?

Violaine: I can’t say I know that for sure. I’ve heard of it, and I’d like to really believe it, but I’m not fully there yet. To explain a little more while, is because I do, on a personal level, to deconstruct my expectations and my habits. Rather than focusing on things that didn’t happen for me, I try to appreciate what did happen for me.

More recently—this is quite recent, maybe two weeks—I’ve started my day with meditation, embodying positive emotions, really trying to feel them. I look for clues that guide me toward a desired goal, but without the expectation of needing it to happen in a certain way. It’s more like, “I would like this, but if I don’t get it, that’s okay.”

Does that make sense? I’m starting to see things fall into place, often in funny ways. But I can’t say it’s fully embodied for my whole life just yet. Maybe one day I will say, I wish I didn't spend the last 30 some years of my life wondering why this happened to me.... This is why!

Michelle: That’s so honest, and I’m so happy you shared that. It’s incredible to hear where your journey is taking you. Like you said, you don’t quite believe it yet, but belief isn’t what we need—it’s knowing.

When you know, when you feel every aspects of that balance, you’ll notice it in your daily practices. As soon as you’re tipped off balance, you’ll find it. Even if you look back and think, “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time wondering why certain things happened,” the journey always leads you to where you need to be at any given time. This every moment that you have is specific to the energy you’re creating.

You are the creator. You’re in control. What might not be clear yet is that you are not recognizing that the power is already within you. At the moment, you’re beginning to see glimpses of this in your journey. You see, every time you let go of control and expectations, you experience a sense of freedom. But every time you resist, you create friction, and similar experiences keep returning back to you because you’re holding on tightly. But as soon as you're starting to let go of these thoughts, it's start to become clearer and clearer.

Same with the food, you’re noticing that when you skip a heavy breakfast and have juice instead, it feels good; you feel energized and lighter. You know that serves you, so you move forward with that.

These small steps you’re taking each day bring you closer to your ultimate goal of achieving freedom from suffering. It’s about observing what you know to be true, not what you merely believe will work for you.

As you continue, things like the “autopilot” will start to change, and your life won’t feel like a repetitive program of suffering. It will become a joyful program where you feel balanced and in control, even without needing control.

You’re already in the driver’s seat, but you’re trying to figure everything out, to solve it, and to take control. Yet, the more you hold on, the more experiences will come to remind you to let go.

When we say “let go,” it’s only possible to release what we’ve picked up along the way, which means we’re letting go of the ego mind, the control mind—the part that builds stories out of thoughts that aren’t even true.

Expectations is a whole scenario created by the ego. The true self doesn’t expect anything; it simply is. Everything is perfect and divine in every moment.

But the fact that I’m not there yet is because I’m still living in that ego mind that wants control, that wants to know the outcome, that wants to hold on because it fears losing its identity and everything it’s built up.

The only wish that you have is that you know this—which you do know— from the moment we come onto this earth.

👉 PART 2 to follow ✨✨

Important links to reach out to Michelle:

Website: xfamunity.com

Instagram: @xfamilyunity

YouTube: Josh X

Email address for the transformation: the6weektransformation@gmail.com

FOR ONE ON ONE TRANSFORMATIVE TIME WITH JOSH OR MICHELLE VIA ZOOM CONSULTATION: xfamunityconsultations@gmail.com